Umm..huh?!

This morning I thought, damn, I've never said, "I'm single." in almost 4 years. Rannel basically said I'm tripping out. But really though, let's say you're out with your friends and someone happens to start talking to you and asks you if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you guys recently broke up: when is it okay to say that you're single? There's no right answer, but I just don't know...I guess I'll just answer, "Umm...huh?!" Heh.

Also, how do people who broke up end up being okay to be together again in the future? I mean if two people have been together for so long, and then they start dating other people, and who the heck knows what happened in those relationships, and then all of a sudden one person wants to get back with the other person, I just don't know if I'll be there with open arms you know? To be honest, it'll hurt like hell when I start finding out he's dating someone or, God forbid, gets serious with someone else. I guess because once I find that out, then my whole mentality of "who knows what'll happen between us in the future" will go out the window. I can't be like, okay, you dated so many people since we last broke up but I still love you and I still want you. Is that possible? Maybe I'm just in pain right now so I think those situations never work out.

I've been watching too much "Sex and the City".

I feel like I'm going to end up like Carrie when Big got engaged to someone else after they ended their year long relationship. I'm going to think, how come you were able to give her what you couldn't give me? But then again, this is different. He can't give me a job and somewhere to stay in the bay area. I just wish I can get mad at someone for this situation I'm in.

Distance was the bitch that brought us down. So who do I get mad at??

Oh and to answer Kat and Rannel: It's not a relief and it's not liberating. I'm freakin trapped in my own emotions. Happy, but sad at the same time.