Friendship

It's really disheartening when you put yourself out there, knowing that you could end up hurt, but you still do it because you want to be a good friend, a support system, a shoulder to lean on, but you just end up jaded. I've continuously kept my cool about everything and am seriously trying to turn a new leaf, but people make it hard when they make you feel like the worst person in the whole world.

It makes me wonder why I put myself through it? Because I'm just trying to be me and right now, you make me not want to be myself. Maybe that's a good thing? Maybe that's when you have time to actually figure out who you should be towards certain people. I mean, it's true right? Everyone has a different mask on when interacting with different people. It's understandable, but I just thought that after all that we've been through, all that you're going through, I can be your friend. Maybe I was wrong.

But no worries. I'm still here. I just learned that I have to be here in your terms. I wear my heart on my sleeve and from now on, I won't expect you to. Friendship, like any relationship, is delicate. It takes tremendous care and effort from everyone involved, but maybe I just need to step back.