Chris labeled yesterday as my "Liberation Day" and he and I, along with Jae and Hai, celebrated at Terra Restaurant for San Diego Restaurant Week. Just what I needed: friends and 3 glasses of wine. We decided that right now, my heart's a mosaic. Well, sort of. It's broken into a million pieces right now, but once it all comes together, it'll be something beautiful.
You know what's funny is that the only thing that's helping is keeping busy. But fck does it still hurt. I'm so angry that he gave up. I'm angry because I'm not the type of person who can forget and let go of 4 years and that's what I know we need right now. No communication. I am a very caring, loving person and I can't shake it off for him just like that. Man, all I think about is the last conversation we had. Yelling and anger. None of which I ever wanted.
I don't wish that we didn't have those good times, but I wish I can just store it all away right now. I don't want to remember the first bart ride together, Nike Dunks (which is part of my password at work that I wish I can change), New York (twice), Boston (Oh God, my LT jersey! Oh man!!), Europe. I don't want to hurt anymore. You had me at my best and you let go.
"I missed the fcking train because of you. Thank you. Bye."
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Charlotte on SATC said that it takes 1/2 of how long you went out with someone to actually get over them. 2 years!? You're kidding me right?
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