This summer has brought up so many emotions and such that I just can't believe these things are happening. It seems like everyone around me is starting to have a plan and a future and I'm just beginning to find myself again. I have so many mixed emotions right now that I feel like I'm going to breakdown. Well, I kind of already did last night.
It was horrible. The whole ordeal made me question my relationship with people; friends and family. I mean, I've tried to be the best daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, etc. and it seems like my efforts always fall short. I usually end up with puffy eyes the next day. I guess that's what I get for being a "south" personality. I continue to give and give, but then I get jaded in the end. What do I really want for myself and my life? What do I want from other people? I shouldn't even be expecting anything anyway, right? All I know is that the more I want to be happy, the easier it is for me to get disappointed or sad.
God's giving me these challenges to make me stronger and I'm hoping I'll learn a thing or two along the way. Maybe I should move far far away so I can be by myself and that way, no one will disappoint/hurt me?
That's why I'm going to stop trying; because I don't want anyone to hurt me anymore, not my brother, not my parents, not some of my friends, no one. HAPPY THOUGHTS AND HAPPY LIFE!!
That's all I want.
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