Closure

How important is closure when ending a relationship? The last time I saw him in person was when we came back from our Europtrip and we casually said goodbye at the LAX airport. I didn't even hug him because my parents were around. Is it important to have that one last conversation in person? Will it just hurt either way? Should we even bother? My heart's beginning to hurt again.

I'm thinking this is why going up to Northern California this past weekend was so difficult. Everything's been said over the phone and I'm not so sure if that's a good or bad thing. I'm at that point where my head's trying to move on but my heart notices everything that has to do with him and starts hurting. It's sad, I know. I was talking to Rhia, future sister-in-law, and she was just talking about how hard it'll be because I have to basically figure out who I am again because after 4 years, I don't know how to be me without him. And not in that stalker/clingy girlfriend kinda way, just that I love(d) him so much.

It's been 3 months since this whole thing started but why does it seem like it's getting harder to move on? I bet it's because of this trip. Grrr!! Why?!? Why am I so freakin emo?!

Last night I felt like calling/texting/emailing him:

"You have my heart. Can I have it back, please?"